- if only

Sandali lang.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

So here we go again. Lol. This past few days I'm starting to be confused with everything. Lots of things running on my mind and it starts to freak me out. Tsk. I know that most of my friends are getting so infuriated at me cos I always dredged up all those bitterness or whatever. I just can't help it --- can't help myself either. I started to think over these things and I don't know if I'm realizing all of them anyhow or what. I'm being more stubborn than before and being too mischief, too.

Well, maybe they are right that the problem is on me. Honestly, I want to breakaway from all these worries, pain, agony -- everything. But I really don't know how to start. "Hindi sa hindi mo matulungan ang sarili mo, ayaw mo lang tulungan talaga.." Kate said. Well, I think she's right

I just don't want to help myself at all..

Why I can't just stop expecting from everything? That these and that will be back to its normal mode? Why I can't just accept that "Hey, this is the reality of life. Wake up!" Err. Why I just kept on nagging the truth? Tsk. I see myself as a loser here, well it is because I allow myself to be like that.

"Why I can't recognize the difference between the reality and dreams?"

Am I being a paranoid or I am just? :(

I want to breakaway..

*******

I am supposed to be off at Baywalk this day with some of my high school friends but then unfortunately it's cancelled and I don't know kung mai-uurong yun or what. Actually, I and Bry planned it originally so since there's some unexpected things happened, then it's cancelled. How bad! I'm so excited to go there cos I'm just excited. Hahaha:D I wanna see how beautiful the sunset is, kaso wala hindi ko makikita! Hahaha:D well, next timie na lang talaga! :)

I'm kind of excited to go back to school this Wednesday cos I'll be able to see again my friends and to be at Elem Ground. Haha. It looks like that that is important to me, well not really ;) I just want to be there and to take some break. Hehe.

*******

Sci: Hey Ghert, guess what I saw? Haha. I saw Paeng, I know it's him. Hehehe. Do you remember him? Our classmate in PolSci? Oh c'mon. Haha. Well, as you read it "english" toh. Hahaha:D

Ghert: Nyahahaha.

Haha. Nonsense conversation but hey it made me smile kaya.ü I don't know why, I don't have any crush to him naman na eh, natuwa lang ako when I saw him. Haha:D maybe I just miss his hair haha:D Yes, I ♥ his hair and I ♥ his bags too. :) Just the hair and bag. Lol.

*******

I ♥ Mickey and Gee-ann from PBB 2 :) They're so cool and funny and they made me smile talaga and kilig at the same time. Lol. I ♥ them to tidbits. Haha:D let's support them! Weee. I'm hating Bruce and Robert somehow, it's not that I'm judging them or what masasabi ko lang is "Boys will be boys" talaga! Tsk. Basta. Hehehe.

*******

I always fool myself that I'm over him, that I don't wnat to see him and I really hate him. But still in the end, I'm always trapped with my heart's deepest desire: "Loving him over and over again, no matter how he hurt me and no matter how I suffer"

@ 2:00 PM