- if only

I can't help it.

Monday, April 23, 2007

I don't know how will I start this entry. How will I let my feelings out. I'm in so much hurt and pain right now, I don't know if I can still bear and be over it. I know it's the same old song but once you feel this feeling, you'll say to yourself that "Wow, it felt like a first time.."

You love someone so much and you'll see that someone as an everything to you. The reason why you exist and the reason of starting your day. It feels so great experiencing the "falling in love" thingy, but then it feels so bad having a feeling of pain and hatred cos of falling in love.

It's not that easy to let go of your feelings to someone and pretending that you can let it go because it's killing you somehow. The sad thing about love is that it's when you happen to know that there's just no hope for you being together yet you still pray to make it work.. It's when your mind says let go but your heart says hold on. It's when you dream of that person almost every night only to wake up in the morning with tears in your eyes. And most of all its when no matter how you try to forget that person you just can't, cos of the fact that you love that person and you just don't know why..

Call me bitter or what, I don't care cos it's true. I hate myself right now cos I hurt again someone I love, someone who means a lot to me. If he'll just know how much I love him and how sorry am I for hurting him.. If he gets to read this, please don't be mad at me. I love you so much! I'm sorry for everything.. Oh God, please do help me to get over this pain. I know you had a reason why you allow this thing to happen. Please, give me so much strength to face this. help me to be brave enough. And let him know how much I love and appreciate him for coming into my life :(

Labels: pain

@ 4:35 PM